.At some recent professional development, I was asked to complete a personality test. My love for these kind of things dates back to my middle school years, when I'd eagerly seek out whatever quiz was featured in that month's issue of Seventeen. So of course I was all in, always ready for some revelatory new insight into my psyche.
In this test, we ranked ourselves on various characteristics and tallied the responses. The idea was that we would have a high score that aligned with one of four animals: Lion, otter, Golden Retriever, and beaver (you can take the test here). I found that I had a tie. Apparently, I was equal parts otter and beaver. We then reviewed the traits of each animal representative, one by one. As I read over the slide for otters, I recognized many of the highlighted strengths in myself. Good communicator. Emotional and passionate. Optimistic. Fun-loving. The weaknesses, though? Not so much. The workshop leader reassured me that many people share traits between the animal types and pulled up the slide for beavers. Did I see myself in any of these possibilities?
Too hard on self.
Too critical of others.
Perfectionist.
Overly cautious.
Why, yes. Yes, I did see myself a bit.
In this test, we ranked ourselves on various characteristics and tallied the responses. The idea was that we would have a high score that aligned with one of four animals: Lion, otter, Golden Retriever, and beaver (you can take the test here). I found that I had a tie. Apparently, I was equal parts otter and beaver. We then reviewed the traits of each animal representative, one by one. As I read over the slide for otters, I recognized many of the highlighted strengths in myself. Good communicator. Emotional and passionate. Optimistic. Fun-loving. The weaknesses, though? Not so much. The workshop leader reassured me that many people share traits between the animal types and pulled up the slide for beavers. Did I see myself in any of these possibilities?
Too hard on self.
Too critical of others.
Perfectionist.
Overly cautious.
Why, yes. Yes, I did see myself a bit.
I make this exact face about twelve times a day.
I immediately saw that my strengths and weaknesses were divided. Otter strengths, beaver weaknesses. I'm not sure that anyone really enjoys thinking about their weaknesses, but these rang so true for me, and - I'll be honest - it was hard to acknowledge. I love when I'm an otter! My otter-self is outgoing and charming and chatty! But that beaver side? It's neurotic, obsessive, anxious. And to be completely frank, it's a side of me that I see more often than I'd like in my teacher life. I see it in myself when there's an unexpected schedule change or a conflict with a co-worker. It's there when I have a difficult message to deliver or decision to make. Little by little, these stressful moments build upon each other until I'm the equivalent of a giant, fanatical rodent, throwing myself completely into building the next dam so that I can channel my energies into something that feels controllable.
But here's what I find reassuring. The otter is in there, too. It's there in those same moments, ready to find the humor, the levity, the joy. Ready to turn the conflict into connection and the schedule change into a spontaneous dance party. I can choose to be an otter at any time. I just need to float along on the current and invite it in.
This seemingly simple experience was such an eye-opener, and one that I hope to carry with me into the upcoming school year. So the next time you see me marching through the hallway with a furrowed brow, deep in some troubling thought, please remind me:
"More otter!"
Otter powers, activate!
