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Talking To Myself

12/21/2016

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Self-help skills are a big deal in preschool.  All those little tasks that we take for granted as adults - blowing your nose, using a spoon, pulling on your socks?  Those had to be learned at some point.  I find that I have to remind myself every so often, especially when transitions seem to be taking longer than they should, that allowing time for developing these self-help skills is just as important as any other part of the day.  Now that it's getting colder, we are tackling the challenge of coats, which is no small feat.  The sleeves, the zippers, the buttons, the hoods.  And all of the cold weather accessories!  Helping each small finger find its place in a glove - 24 times - is a task only for those with a superhero frustration threshold!  

One child in particular has been working hard with his coat.  It's one of those awesome convertible coats that has a removable fleece liner.  But the liner gets twisted and tangled in different ways each day, and I know the entire process can feel overwhelming.  As I brainstormed ways to support him, I was reminded of something my own daughter's amazing occupational therapist recently told her: "This is hard.  But you can do it."  In fact, the more I thought about it, the more I realized just how much our OT teaches my daughter how to self-talk.  Sure, she's strengthening her fine motor skills and developing her vestibular sense; but, moreover, the biggest changes I see in my E since we've started working with an OT is her sense of self-confidence and her willingness to take risks.  And I have to wonder how much of that is the result of learning positive self-talk.  

So, I tried out this very phrase with the child struggling with his coat. Then, something amazing happened.  His friend, who was standing nearby, said it, too. Another soft voice from across the room piped in.  "Yeah. You can do it!"  In the span of just a few minutes, the child with the coat had a circle of support around him, urging him on.  And you know what?  He did it.  I've noticed since using that phrase just once, the children are using it all the time, both in their practice of self-talk and in their encouragement of one another.  It was almost as if they needed the words to articulate those conflicting feelings of acknowledging the challenge and reaffirming their competence.

As I reflect on the challenges of this past year and anticipate the ones ahead, I'm trying out this positive self-talk for myself.  Here's what I'm finding: The more I say it, the stronger I feel.  The more I believe it.

Chronic ankle injury that keeps me from the running I love?  This is hard, but I can do it.
Balancing the demands of family and work?  This is hard, but I can do it.
Advocating for the causes important to me?  This is hard, but I can do it.
Finding ways to help when I feel powerless to do so?  This is hard, but I can do it.

This is hard.  But I can do it.

So can you, dear reader.  Happy new year.  
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