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Really Ready

9/2/2020

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As I look forward to beginning a new school year ("new" in practically every sense of the word!), I keep thinking about the day I brought home my older daughter.  Labor and delivery had taken lots of unexpected turns, and our hospital stay was longer than I'd anticipated.  I was so happy to be home with her.  But I was also so tired.  I couldn't wait to change into my pajamas and crawl into clean sheets on my very own bed.  

So, because this seemed like a completely reasonable thing to do at the time, I got us ready for a nice long nap, gently placed my daughter in her bassinet, and fully expected both of us to be snoozing peacefully within minutes.

Nine years later, I feel something close to pity for the person I was then.  As though simply having the idea that my child should sleep would somehow make it happen!  And I was completely mystified when she cried and fidgeted and fussed and sent every possible message that she would not be taking a nap at the time I'd appointed.   I had no idea what was coming. 
Clearly, it was a steep learning curve for me as I began my parenting journey.  There was one rude awakening after another.  But here's the thing: It wasn't for lack of information.  If anything, I felt super prepared.  My husband and I had attended all the classes.  I'd read all the books, followed all the blogs, polled everyone I knew about every possible detail.  I was as ready as could be!  But I wasn't, really.  Because the one thing that was missing was something that no one else could give me. 

It was trust in myself.

I was the most informed new mom ever.  And I was terrified.  All the information in the world couldn't give me the belief  that I would actually be a good parent.  At no point in all of my preparation did I ever think to myself, "I'm going to be a great mom!"  If anything, my inner voice was more like, "Don't mess this up."  
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However you may be beginning your school year, I am sure there is no shortage of information about how you could do it.  And maybe, like me, feeling informed gives you a sense of control.  But I hope that, even as you read and watch and listen to all those messages, you don't forget that the most important message is the one you tell yourself.

"I got this."

"I'm a really good teacher."

"I'm going to rock this year."

Because you do.  You are.  And you will.  
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