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In Search of Joy

3/19/2020

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How are you doing, dear reader?

I, for one, am oscillating wildly between cautious optimism (even hope, at times) and an overwhelming sense of dread.  In between are periods of anger, disbelief, validation, gratitude, and...

Joy.  

Joy?
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To be sure, it's a time of extremes.  I am infuriated by the choices being made by some of my fellow humans, and I find myself wondering if these conditions are simply shining a light on the worst parts of all of us.  At the same time, I am inspired and moved beyond words by the many expressions of compassion I see from others.  I don't know whether to feel disgusted by our collective humanity or to embrace it.

And, as I try to process the magnitude of our current reality, little moments of joy come crashing in unexpectedly.  About a week into self-isolation, here are some of the things that have been bringing me joy in this difficult and uncertain time.

Coffee In Bed
For about an hour or so, before my kids get up, I drink my (first!) cup of coffee in bed.  My dog snuggles up beside me and sometimes I watch junk TV.  It's quiet and dark and it feels like a second to breathe.

A Journaling Routine
After I shower for the day, I spend about five minutes journaling.  Writing is a huge help for me in maintaining mental health, so I write even when I don't feel like it or think I have anything to say.  Then, I light a candle and do a short loving kindness meditation.  At a time when it can feel like we are powerless, it feels good to simply send well wishes into the world.  
"May all beings be safe.
May all beings be happy.
May all beings be at peace."

A Great Book
We are doing a pretty haphazard homeschooling routine right now, but a nonnegotiable part of the day is a daily read aloud.  My first grader's teacher introduced her to The Invention of Hugo Cabret by Brian Selznick, and she checked it out of the library for us to enjoy at home.  It is so beautifully written, and I look forward to reading it with my children.   
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Oh, this passage got me so choked up today.
Connecting Via Technology
My mom is 80 and lives alone.  While she's incredibly vibrant and active, I worry about her.  What I really want to do is to drive over to her house and spend time with her, but I know the loving thing to do is to stay away (which feels so counterintuitive and wrong).  So we call each other every day, not just to check in on one another, but also to connect and find some comfort in these strange times.  I love talking to her - hearing about the ways she finding to keep up her workout routine, the new book she's reading, the dinner she's about to make for herself.  I am so grateful for these daily conversations with her.

I am also so grateful for my loved ones reaching out with technology in all kinds of ways - checking in with texts, planning virtual brunches, even just making me smile by sharing silly memes (an Instagram story involving dinosaurs was the first time I really laughed yesterday, and it was glorious).
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Seeing my girl give this big smile to her friend over FaceTime just filled my heart right up.
Connecting Via the Sidewalk
As long as the weather cooperates, I'm getting outdoors with my daughters each day.  Walking in the clear, cool sunshine is so good for the soul.  When we venture out into our neighborhood, I feel so much camaraderie with everyone else we see doing the same thing.  We smile at the mom holding a newborn baby, rocking on her front porch.  We call out our greetings to the runners and cyclists speeding by.  We pet our older neighbor's dog through the fence as he waves across the yard.  In our friendly distance, I see the care we have for one another, and in a bizarre way, I feel more connected with my neighbors now than I did before.  
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Is joy sneaking its way into your new every day?  I'd love to hear how!  
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