"Who's going to validate me?"
I'd asked it in an overdramatic way, a bid to break the tension. It's a coping mechanism that I've been using for a long time, attempting to find a reason to laugh in moments of high pressure or stress. But even though I'd meant it to be funny, the honesty of it hit me like a ton of bricks.
Seriously, though. Who?
I sometimes feel like I spend my entire day reflecting back what I observe about others. It's pretty much the most basic tenant of my job - affirming that the children in my care (both at home and at school) are worthy of note and, therefore, love. It becomes a loop of familiar phrases, repeated in various combinations, until I can't stand the sound of my own voice.
"I notice..."
"I hear..."
"I see..."
"I know..."
"I understand..."
I am incredibly proud of this work. It resonates with me in a fundamental, essential way. I know it's what I'm meant to do.
It is also utterly exhausting.
To be constantly available, open, and receiving takes Herculean strength and discipline. I also know that, in order for me to be able to do my best work, I need to be in a good emotional place, myself. In short, I sometimes need someone to do that kind of work with me so that I can do it for others.
I'd asked it in an overdramatic way, a bid to break the tension. It's a coping mechanism that I've been using for a long time, attempting to find a reason to laugh in moments of high pressure or stress. But even though I'd meant it to be funny, the honesty of it hit me like a ton of bricks.
Seriously, though. Who?
I sometimes feel like I spend my entire day reflecting back what I observe about others. It's pretty much the most basic tenant of my job - affirming that the children in my care (both at home and at school) are worthy of note and, therefore, love. It becomes a loop of familiar phrases, repeated in various combinations, until I can't stand the sound of my own voice.
"I notice..."
"I hear..."
"I see..."
"I know..."
"I understand..."
I am incredibly proud of this work. It resonates with me in a fundamental, essential way. I know it's what I'm meant to do.
It is also utterly exhausting.
To be constantly available, open, and receiving takes Herculean strength and discipline. I also know that, in order for me to be able to do my best work, I need to be in a good emotional place, myself. In short, I sometimes need someone to do that kind of work with me so that I can do it for others.
A student photographer recently took this photo of me. I see several of my own self-care strategies at play here: Getting outside, wearing clothes that make me happy, and drinking coffee.
On a recent stormy day, when we couldn't get outside and emotions were running high in our classroom, I'd tried every calming tactic I know - both for myself and the students. But I was still struggling. "I'm having a hard day," I finally acknowledged to my teaching partner. She gave me a firm squeeze on the shoulder and replied, "I know. And it's ok. It's ok to have a hard day." The whole exchange took less than a minute, but I could have cried from the relief I felt from that brief moment of validation.
Teachers, we need the same emotional support and nurturing that we give our students. We need to be hearing those same phrases.
"I see that you put effort into that experience."
"I hear that you're feeling frustrated."
"I notice that you're looking upset."
How will you remind a colleague that they are seen and valued? And how will you ask for that support?
Teachers, we need the same emotional support and nurturing that we give our students. We need to be hearing those same phrases.
"I see that you put effort into that experience."
"I hear that you're feeling frustrated."
"I notice that you're looking upset."
How will you remind a colleague that they are seen and valued? And how will you ask for that support?
